The Man Who Taught Me to Live...

My father.

My father, in his teens, on his (late) horse White Eyes.

Since my last post, about Horse Group, I've been thinking about my father (who is still, very much, alive). He is the person who taught me to love and respect these wonderful creatures. He was my gateway into the world of nature and farms (which feel completely different to me, even if other's disagree) and while I had a guide when I was younger, it was his ability to allow me to explore and learn at my own pace that, in my adulthood, I respect the most.

He began bringing my sister and I to the farm when we were quite young. We had a great deal of freedom to explore - the only rule I really remember was that we had to stay together. Something that I was glad of but my sister (three years my elder), I'm sure, fought. I was afraid of so much there - I couldn't manage the gates very well and the animals, many of them at least, were much bigger and stronger than I was. I wanted to get in to see them and all they wanted was to get out.

Throughout my youth I learned not to hand feed the animals (no help needed) and to always close the gates behind me. As I grew and began experiencing things at the farm more, my father taught me knots (something that took me to my adulthood to have a genuine interest in), animal care (much I don't remember until I hear someone else talking about it) and about the land (something I've always had an interest in but I'm better at identifying the plants than reading the soil). I love nature and animals and the farm and still feel my most balanced and true to myself when I surround myself with Mother Nature's glory!

When I began riding regularly, in my 12th year, my father taught me first to respect the horse and allowed reality to teach me the rest. If you don't pay attention to where you are, a horse will step on you. If you don't tighten your saddle, you won't be on the horse for long or you had better have impeccable balance (the former of which I learned in front of a boy I was crushing on - I was devastated); the same goes for keeping your heels down, when that horse stops short or jumps from something that gives it a fright, you're time in the saddle is cut short!

I learned why you don't lean back on a horse to bypass a branch (thud!), just how wide of an opening my horse needed to make it through two trees (smash!) and to how to use your balance to stay on a rearing or bucking horse (crunch! ouch!). My father was always there to offer words of wisdom - did you like that outcome? Nope. Good, don't do that again! Off we go...

There were a few times when no one else would show up for riding (Saturday mornings). You'd think that I'd be disappointed as they were my friends but I got to ride with my Dad...and he was all mine! We'd talk as we rode through places we wouldn't go with a group and when we were quiet, I felt a little vine meet between the two of us and grow together. My father is my hero and my friend.

There are many reason I feel that way about my father (whom I never call father but feel the need, now, to do so). He picked me up, no questions asked, when I needed his help moving my things from a relationship-gone-bad. He has given completely sound advice on everything from saving money to what emergency equipment to have in my car (not that I ever listened to any of it). As a kid, I sat in the basement with him as he talked about his tools or camping equipment or candle making and he and I traveled around Texas together on vacation (when I lived there).

He, along with my mother, have never lead me astray but allows me to make my own decisions and deal with my own consequences, even if it hurt to watch me screw up. They are the reason I have always felt able to try new things and explore the life I wanted - I always knew they would help me, if I needed it. Don't get me wrong, my parent's didn't pay my way out of things but they helped me find a road out (and to find the least costly road, if possible) when I made my mistakes. In contrast, they are two people who always cheer when a mistake turns into something fabulous. I don't think I'd be the person I am today without horses (animals) and nature in my life and I wouldn't have the love and respect for the vast natural world around us if it weren't for the eyes I saw them through in my youth.

My parents (far Left and far Right) with their grandchildren.

He was a camp director before I was born and I've followed in his shoes. It never felt like I was shadowing him but the love and respect for the natural world around us led me there. We both tend to believe that no one can do the job (of the counselor, nature person, craft leader, etc.) as well as we can, which leads to high expectations that are difficult to live up to. The thing is that if a staffer lives up to our expectations, even a little, they are producing programming at a level that absolutely wow's parents, campers and other staff alike! His comprehension of the basics of camp (as a recreation activity as well as youth advocacy) is outstanding and it has helped form both my opinions as well as my passion for helping others. Our visions may not always be shared with our employees but the lives we touch and make a difference in makes it all worth wild!

I am trying to share the lessons I have learned from my father (nature, animal, fascination, exploration, camp, etc.) with my own kids but I don't think I'll ever be able to top the way I was taught. So, thank you, Dad. You're amazing and you've touched and influenced my life in more ways than you could ever count.

How Horse Group Helps You Grow-Up...

Me and Mac, my partner in the woods
for the past 4 years!

I volunteer with a 4H program. I work with kids and horses mainly. I grew through this program myself (with my father as my leader) and it's incredibly important to me.

The way it works:

View from the saddle...

The members of Horse Group (HG) choose or get assigned a horse in September. This is their horse, their partner, for 9 months. Sometimes things happen that forces the participant to ride another horse for a while, but theoretically, this is how it works.  The kids (parents) pay rent on the horse which helps feed, house and care for the horse (it doesn't completely cover the cost though) and the horse gets exercise which keeps it in shape for the summer season of camp! The monthly rent allows the kids to ride every Saturday morning where we ride on the local forest preserve trails and Wednesday evening where we do a lesson for a few months and then begin practicing for our drill team performance in late May. Several kids take time to ride throughout the week but it's an extra or perk that they need to earn by volunteering their time to help at the farm at other times. It's a great program and it's a rare kid that doesn't adore every minute of participation.

The kids have to care for their horse. They learn how to groom or clean the horse, including cleaning the hooves by removing rocks and other packed "stuff" which could harm the horse. On really nasty days (caked on dirt or mud...you have no idea) we just clean where the saddle fits but we balance those days with full cleanings: legs, mane and tail, etc. They learn the parts of the equipment and horse (something I still struggle with for some reason) so they can communicate any issues to the manager of the farm and my co-leader, if needed (or repair their tack).

The horses, lined up, in the corral.

The horses get one rider. This is normal if you own your horse but in our world, these horses have a job all summer and their riders change every two weeks. The riders that come through camp are not accomplished by any means; the kids who participate in camp could have taken lessens, only ridden during camp the summer prior or have never ridden a horse - ever. It's a long 8 weeks for the horses and they really seem to settle back into having a single rider in the fall. The horses get treats, massages (those fun brushes feel wonderful to the horses after a ride) and they even get to know the scent and personality of their rider as we do the same with them.

The horses and kids are fun to get to know and it's really interesting watching each pair grow, even the returners (with or without a new pairing) has something to learn.

Wednesday night lesson (double exposure).

The program pairs kids with horses, yes, but that's not the point. We're teaching these kids life's lessons. Giving them tools to take with them through their lives. It's not something that the government or state says that they have to learn so we're not required to do it a specific way but these kids learn! They are responsible to the group, the team, during routine (drill team) practice. They have to support one another as they deal with the special circumstances that come with each  partnership. They have adults and peers to show respect to. They have to learn to control their emotions as they can set their partner off with a showing of anger, fear or uncertainty.

The program is not about learning to ride (although we do that, too!); it's about learning to live - we just use horses to connect with the kids. It IS a magic partnership...

You can tell a lot about who the kids are or what their home life is like, really by how they take on the tasks at hand. On the first meeting we have to help them a lot:

• The horse won't keep their foot up to be cleaned.
• The mud won't come off.
• I can't lift my saddle.
• Can you put my saddle blanket up?
• How does this thing (bridle) go on, again?
• I'm getting smashed when I curry the horse. 
• I took off the halter and my horse got out.

The first week or two are exhausting for the leaders (and some of the more helpful returners) as we're running back and forth trying to help, teach and just get it done so we can get some time in the saddle. By the time October hits, we expect the kids to be able to correct, learn and fix all the issues they have with their horse. Kids tell us at their homes, parents would just do the task for them if they struggled are finding confidence to try new things and do them on their own.

Mac and Dunne (concealed) playing.

The following year, the once newbies, are seasoned veterans. They can help the "new kids", showing them where things go or tips they picked up the year before. They feel like the own the barn and know all there is to know about each of the horses. They don't always remember everything they learned the year prior but they know more than the new kids and that's the most important thing. They have friends in the program and stories to tell and laugh about.

"Tell me and I'll forget; show me and I may remember; involve me and I'll understand." - Chinese Proverb  

Because we have little to no personal connection to these children (pre-teen and teen) before they participate, it's easy for us to always assume that they are more than capable of working through each task set before them. In so many areas of their lives, school, home, etc. they are ignorant until they've learned and the way so many parents and teachers give knowledge is by educating as we go, thinking that we have to give them the answers rather than allow them to explore and find the answer that works for them (which still needs to fit in a set of standards laid in front of them). As members of HG, we are taught as we go because we believe that you cannot learn to ride a horse unless you are on the horse.

We all - kids and leaders alike - get stepped on, smashed, roll or tumble off, get bitten (I think I'm the only one who's been bitten in the past few years though), banged into tree trunks or smacked in the face with branches and get scraped by thorns.

We also learn to rely on another living thing, trust in people and animals, find love (it's impossible not to love them), earn self confidence, find muscles we didn't know we had, find and grow friendships (with the animals and one another) and laugh...a lot.

The program hasn't changed an enormous amount from my youth. My stories are peppered with trails that are closed now, kids that are grown up with families and jobs of their own, songs sung on the trail that are on the best of country CD's that the kids have never heard, horses that have long since passed on and bruises, bumps and lessons that feel completely irrelevant to them.

Some things though, exploring the woods (bushwhacking) by making new trails, the best friends you'll ever have, singing (or the occasional rapping) at the top of your lungs, connecting with a creature that could smash you or kick you to death but allows you to ride and control them and new stories...stories that include bumps, bruises and new lessons that you'll never forget...those things stay the same.

The Breakfast Switch...

I've already said that I love food but it bears repeating. I LOVE FOOD!!!

Some of my favorite breakfasts include Eggs Benedict, cold pizza, bacon, biscuits & gravy, fruit salad and steel cut oats with berries, chopped walnuts and a little shot of vanilla. I tend to choose savory breakfasts and I really don't think cereal has a place in breakfast-land as it doesn't tide you over for very long; I say it makes a better snack.

I'm always preaching that we eat backwards - we should be eating a balanced breakfast high in protein with whole grains and veggies (traditional breakfast food would look like a spinach and  feta cheese omelet with whole grain toast / english muffin or oatmeal in place of toast) but who has time for this kind of a meal on a work / school day? Our lives are busy and mine is no different so I've devised a plan to help my kids be more in charge of what they're eating for breakfast, give them choices, help them get and stay full longer and help my family save some money, too!

What's funny to me is that there are cookbooks, stores and cooking shows about how to make multiple dinners in one day. Dinners can be overwhelming because we're busy and always running somewhere, right? Well how many people skip breakfast multiple times a week (coffee is NOT food, people) because you don't have time? This concept is not a difficult one so there's no need for a show or a book (and we really don't need another restaurant touting the ultimate breakfast on the go); you just need to schedule a little time, one day a week (about 1 hour), to prep out the grains and away you can go!

I purchase my grains, if possible, in bulk (Costco and GFS are my typical go-to's but I'm planning a trip to Whole Foods soon to see if I can find some of the ones I can't fine easily near me) and I store them in old jars (tomato sauce, apple sauce, jams and jellies, etc.) as they don't need to be sealed specially, just keep the air out until you get to them and they stack nicely in the pantry. I either tape

Whole grains are so good for you; not only are the a good source of fiber (there are better foods but they are one of the cheapest and easiest to store and stretch), they have B and E vitamins, iron and have antioxidants. Plus, they stick to you so you feel full, longer.

I find this to be super important with my kids; they used to eat cold cereal for breakfast everyday but would complain of hunger by 10a and they were taking 2 sandwiches for lunch and coming home and eating everything in sight for a snack. Dinner time was just as bad, they were eating two nights worth if food because they felt so hungry.

I changed their diet, gave them a list of approved foods with recipes (the three oldest are all teens or pre-teens so I trust then in the kitchen with certain restrictions) and made sure they understood how to make some of the foods and watched them go! First of all, they attacked that list like it was a menu at a fast food restaurant  - they had so much fun seeing their food in a different way. They got together and decide who was making what, what was being (or could be) doubled and prepped berries, walnuts, etc. It took a few weeks before it felt like a rhythm was found (and I let them go to school hungry a few times because they decided to goof off instead of planning ahead for their breakfast) but now we've got a bag of brown rice in the freezer (just waiting), a container of steel cut oats, quinoa and two kinds of breakfast risottos in the fridge.

Overnight I noticed a difference in their hunger levels. They dropped down to one sandwich each for lunch, came home for a fruit / veggie snack and ate healthier portions of dinner. It felt like magic.They were responsible for the food (food is medicine!) they were putting into their bodies, they were working as a team toward a common goal (breakfast for the week) and they were experimenting with flavors (one day frozen veggies in the brown rice, the next day making quick congee, the next just adding milk, cinnamon and honey) - there is a lot to be proud of here!

At any rate, try to make the switch and I think you'll be surprised by what you find you're craving.

Breakfast Ideas & Options for Kids

Take a little time to plan ahead and work out a plan with your brother(s) and sister – each of you can help prep for the week by chopping some herbs, nuts or dried fruit. Someone else can be responsible for cooking up the grains or pasta so it’s ready for all. Your mornings can be smoother and more relaxed if you don’t have to schedule in time to wash the cooking dishes and clean the kitchen before you leave for school.

Oatmeal

Packets are good in a hurry but have too much sugar and not enough UMPF!

Make a bunch of the good stuff (not the instant or quick oats – we’re talking steel cut or rolled oats) and keep it in a container to eat from all week. After you heat it up, top with:

·          Milk and honey

·          Chopped nuts with dried fruit

·          Chopped bacon, mixed herbs (dried onions, chopped rosemary, cayenne pepper) chopped dried fruit and some olive oil

·          Frozen fruit (small handful of blueberries, chopped strawberries, etc.)

Quinoa or Wheat Berries

Make a pot a head of time (quinoa only takes 10 minutes or so but Wheat Berries take up to an hour to cook through fully) and top with:

·          Chopped nuts

·          Dried fruits

·          Cinnamon powder

Malt-O-Meal

If you’re going for the stick-with-you kind of breakfast add some:

·          Dried fruit

·          Chopped Nuts

·          Wheat Bran or ground Flax Seed

·          Top with a little bit of cold cereal for some crunch

Barley

Cook Barley according to package directions.

Mix together 1 cup cooked Barley, 1 ½ Tablespoon Cream Cheese, 1 Tablespoon Wheat Germ, garlic powder, dill, salt and pepper to taste

Veggie Fritters (patties or drops)

·          Veggies (sauté in oil for about 7 min–brown around edges, sprinkle with salt, cool)

o   Cauliflower

o   Zucchini

o   Broccoli

o   Eggplant

·          Additives

o   Feta / Parmesan Cheese

o   Chopped Walnuts

o   Herbs

o   Red Pepper Flakes

Combine ½ cup AP Flour and 1t baking powder; mix in veggies and additives; slowly pour in ¼ - ½ cup milk (you may not need it all) mix until thick batter forms (lumps are ok); heat oil (1 ½ - 2 inches up side of container); using 2 spoons, drop 1 inch balls of batter into hot oil (use wooden spoon trick to test) – should cook in 3-4 min; remove when lightly browned and drain; sprinkle with a little salt. Dip in chunky tomato sauce or just plain!

Brown Rice – freezes nicely

Cook down the leftover (already cooked) rice in lightly salted water until the grains start to break down and they release their starches (Chinese call this “congee”) and the mixture thicken; or just heat and top with:

·          Scrambled eggs

·          Handful of frozen, mixed veggies

·          Spoonful of giardiniera

·          Milk, Honey and Cinnamon

You’re kind of creating a type of fried rice (with more broken down rice) cereal

Baked Brown Breakfast Rice

Turn oven on to 375F. in oven safe dish, mix together 1 ½ cups brown rice, ½ cup raisins or craisins, 1/3 cup ground flax seed, 1 Tablespoon sesame seeds, 1 teaspoon cinnamon, ¼ teaspoon all spice ¼ teaspoon nutmeg and ½ teaspoon salt.

Boil 3 cups of water and pour over rice mixture in oven safe dish, stir. Cover and seal with alumnium foil or lid. Bake in oven for 1 hour.

Remove from oven and leave covered (let stand) for 5 minutes.(6 servings)

[If you want a more breakfast cereal-like texture – stir to loosen grains, add an additional 2 cups of boiling water, and return to oven for another forty-five minutes.]

White Rice

White rice isn’t as healthy for you as the Brown Rice but it’s quicker to cook so these creamy options are perfect with white rice. You can’t make risotto with regular brown rice easily.

Berry Breakfast Risotto (Creamy Rice)

Boil 4 ½ cups of water. In large pan (medium heat), stir together 1 cup white rice, 1 cup cream (½ & ½ or look in substitutions book), ½ cup sugar and 2 teaspoons vanilla extract – cook for 1 minute, stirring gently. 

Turn heat up to medium-high and add 1 cup of hot water – continue to stir frequently, cooking until all water is absorbed.

Continue stirring, adding water 1 cup at a time - allowing each cup to be absorbed before adding the next. Cook until rice is tender and the risotto has a creamy consistency - about 25 to 30 minutes.

Remove from heat and add 1 cup, each, fresh (or frozen and thawed) raspberries and strawberries. Stir until risotto is light pink, about 1 minute. Serve warm. (6 servings)

Breakfast Risotto

In small pan, combine 3 cups apple juice, powdered cinnamon and nutmeg. Over medium-high heat, bring to a boil and immediately reduce to low and lid to keep warm.

In a separate pan (or in the microwave), warm 2 cups milk – DO NOT BOIL. Keep warm.

In large pan, melt 2 Tablespoons butter over medium-high heat. Add 1½ cups white rice – stir with a wooden spoon until rice begins to look translucent (2-3 minutes). Ladle ½ cup of hot apple juice and stir until it’s absorbed. Continue adding apple juice, a scoop at a time, until it’s all added and absorbed.

Add ½ cup warm milk and ½ cup raisins to mixture – stirring until milk is absorbed. Continue adding warm milk, a little at a time, until it’s all added and absorbed (this should take about 30 minutes).

Remove pan from heat, cover and let stand for 5 minutes. Serve with a sprinkle of brown sugar and milk.

Pasta

Cook up a pot of noodles and mix up a batch of a cold breakfast plate!

·          Soba noodles with peas, peanut oil, hot sauce and soy sauce lightly tossed – top with sesame seeds on (you can also use whole grain fettuccine)

·          Pastina (baby cereal) – cook up and add the same things you’d add to hot grain cereals

Ramen Noodles (NOT SOUP!!!)

These quick cooking noodles can be used for a quick meal in the morning, too!!! One package should feed two of you, (please don’t be gluttonous!)

Boil the noodles until cooked through – drain noodles.

·          Coat a large pan with ¼ - 1/3 cup of Vegetable or Canola Oil and heat it on medium-high heat

·          Quickly fry the cooked Ramen Noodles (they’ll pick up a nice crunchy brown look) – DON’T BURN or let stick to pan

·          Remove from pan and plate. Top with:

o    Vinegar of choice

o    Mix in some Chopped herbs

o    Small handful of mixed frozen vegetables

o    Toss with 1 teaspoon of Jalapeno Sauce or Red Chili Sauce

Boil the noodles. Break an egg in the water while boiling the noodles. Add ½ of a seasoning packet.

Boil just enough water to cover the block of ramen (don’t put block in water yet). When you reach a boil, add ramen and then a layer of onion and tomato slice or two. Crack an egg over the top and lid pot until egg is cooked through.

Boil noodles and one beaten egg (like for scrambling) for three minutes, drain all but 1 tablespoon water (carefully keeping all of egg in pot). Stir in ½ of seasoning packet, a small fistful of shredded cheese and a spoonful of salsa. Serve in 3 – 4 tortillas for a breakfast burrito.

Chutes and Ladders...

A and I were playing Shoots and Ladders this morning. I get a little introspective sometimes (gasp, I know) and as we're playing I realize how our game is connected to our current growth stages. A's character was progressing at a rapid pace up the board. She kept landing on the same chutes (poor decisions) over and over again and would go down to a lower level but then she'd progress just as quickly jumping up a ladder (good choice) or spinning a large number.

When you're young, you grow and learn in leaps and bounds (or chutes and ladders...hehe!). You're experiences are so profound and you have someone counting with you, looking out for your mistakes / discoveries so they can help you understand the consequences (positive and negative) and the world seems so  new and filled with possibilities. Also, there is no looking ahead because you need someone to count it all out for you (or guide you on your way) - A kept forgetting how many spaces she was supposed to move forward and was leaving her character a spot or two behind (oh look, something shiny).

My character moved at a much slower pace. I spun low numbers and moved only a few spaces at a time. I kept landing on different choices (both positive and negative) and I just kind of stayed stagnant, bouncing from one line to another. Every time I moved forward or got ahead of her, I'd slip down a chute again. I tried to have A help me count my spaces but she was getting so distracted that I was having to count out myself (while keeping her engaged and the petting the dog who kept trying to lay on the game board to get some lovin').

As an adult (something I will always have a hard time referring to myself as), I have a slightly skewed view of life; experiences are sometimes new but I know enough to have an idea about what an experience is going to offer (to a degree). It's important to keep a consistent lifestyle so my kids can grow and experience things without having to focus on all the new around them (rather than the individual new that is in front of them). I make the choice to multitask because I want to show that all the characters in my life are important and I want to give attention to each. My mistakes have a more broad base of consequences as they affect more than myself but my new explorations, as far and few between as they may seem, can life my whole family up and make life better in ways that may surprise even the biggest skeptic.

A won both games - she was so excited that she won but my heart melted when she snuggled up to me and said, "Great Job!" Truly, she was just happy to have someone to play a game with and get that individual attention every child craves and I was thrilled to have a few moments where she was a bouncing 4 year old, giggling and playful rather than the youngest of four trying desperately to act old enough or cool enough to garner just a little attention from the chaos that is our life...

Substituting in the Kitchen

I'm obsessed with food.  I always have been and am passing this down to my kids. They talk about food, as I do, with passion. They make faces when they eat things they like and make noises (we call them "chicken noises" because we heard it for the first time when W was eating chicken) - it's kind of like chewing and a little happy hum makes it way up your throat and before you know it, you're engrossed in the flavors in your mouth and you look up and everyone is staring at you...giggles break out.

I know it's not healthy but I love butter. L-O-V-E butter. It's fabulous and nothing you say is going to make me not like it so don't waste your breath. I ran out of butter Thanksgiving weekend. I try to keep a small stock in the freezer (when it goes on sale, I buy what I can) and I guess I wasn't paying attention to what I had. It's been nearly two weeks and I have to say that while I'm not particularly fond of cooking without butter, I'm learning how to do things different (and I think it makes you a much better cook when you know how to work around issues and how/what to substitute).

When I make eggs for breakfast, I use vegetable oil in my cast iron pan - it cooks the edges differently and doesn't have the creamy flavor that the butter lends but it certainly works.

I made a cream base for some pasta. Typically you use one part fat to one part flour but without butter I tired it with oil again - it worked! In this case, there was no real difference except the visual texture at the very beginning of the process.

I was amazed. Not because I thought butter had some superpowers but because I had never thought of using something with lower fat content to make the foods we eat. I know that too much of any fat or oil is not healthy but when I can make a substitution like that, I'm all about it.

At one point of my life I would have been afraid to experiment with cooking this way and now, I just kind of jump into it (kids with hungry, gaping mouths will do that to you, I guess) and hope for the best. It makes me feel powerful, in a way.

Food is medicine and it is this medicine that fuels us - I give my family power when I feed them and when I can make something where there once was little or nothing, it is a sensation that fills me with pride and warmth.

One of my favorite books in the kitchen was a gift from my sister, about 6 years ago, and I use it tirelessly. It's called Substituting Ingredients: An A to Z Kitchen Reference by Becky Sue Epstein and Hilary Dole Klein (Copyright 1996) and it's a lifesaver!!!

I know that when I go shopping this weekend, I'll pick up some salted butter (oh, how I've missed you!) and probably not miss much of a beat but it's so nice to know that you can solve a problem without anyone knowing what happened - horray for making it work!

Substituting Ingredients: An A to Z Kitchen Reference